The series The Awakening was created using silver gelatin prints and scraps, old pages of the book The Awakening and some collected papers. The idea of this project was to recycle older, unused and imperfect pieces of my work that I would otherwise have no use for. But the entire idea goes deeper than that. Along with material recycling, I was also recycling the emotions from my past, that were still lingering in some places where they should not. Working on the series was very therapeutic. To connect the past with the present and creating something meaningful was exactly what was needed in order to move forward…
The individual pieces look like pages from an old book - torn, wrinkled, faded, and then renewed from what was left and what was remembered. On those pages, the stories of women are told. The stories that should be celebrated and not forgotten.
The novel The Awakening was influential for me around the time of the beginning of my photography journey. Written by Kate Chopin, it tells of the profound self-discovery of a 19th century New Orleans mother and wife and her personal journey (an awakening) that sees her challenging the norms of society at that time. The novel moved me on a deep level, being a young female photographer, embracing self-expression, curiosity and authenticity. The author herself faced social and professional ostracization for writing this book. I would also like to mention that there are lots of associations with the ocean in this novel. Starting my photography journey, the ocean was an inspiration but also my sanctuary.
I remember thinking that one day I would like to use this book as a part of my art - not only spiritually but also palpably.
Working in the darkroom as a young photographer presented me with some challenges. One of them was a financial challenge. To fulfill my vision, I went through lots of paper. The money made was poured into darkroom supplies. I didn’t mind. I had a purpose. Printing was a passion of mine. But along with my good prints, there were imperfect ones, unused and I remember how hard it was to see all that precious paper going to waste. I started to save some pieces for “what if,” but after some time, I eventually experienced burnout - artistic and financial, and took a longer break from photography.
A few years later, as I was reconnecting with my art, an idea struck me. I wanted to give something back to that young photographer in me, finding a purpose for all those unused pieces. To create something with “nothing”. To recycle art that was already there, in my closet, waiting for me to reach out. I revisited the book The Awakening and started the process of recycling - emotional and material. The work bursted into female and natural expressions, light and exposure, and the renewal of prints and paper and hours and hours of darkroom work completed years before. I was connecting past and present and molding them into something personal and meaningful. It was a healing journey and it brought me back to where I needed to be - back home, back to photography. Photography is my home.
